"The Real Bonnet Chronicles"
by Amber Rogers "Why is it that we always want to shoot the messenger; regardless of the quality, truth or relevance of the message that he carries?" Does our truth hurt soo much, and sting so sharply, that we now luxuriate in the deflection of lies over truth? Okay, okay, I get it! It's the 'pot calling the kettle black' defense, in this current backlash against comedian Monique; who pulled the coattails, and "tapped" young Black women on their shoulders (in love,) through her Social Media posts. And it is the tapping on the shoulder, regarding their disheveled appearance and untidiness in public which has left a certain sector of females hotter than hot. Yes, Monique has a mouth like a sailor on leave, and can cuss up a storm; standing toe to toe against any man, (hairy legs and all) and her sharp-edged comedic flair is not everybody's cup of tea, (especially when we reflect back upon her shenanigans of urging certain bigwigs in Hollywood to "suck her expletive") but let me ask you a question... did she lie or did she tell the truth?
Have we grown so jaded narcissistic, and defiant that unless we are stroked with ego- building, and ego- stroking lies, that truth is rejected faster than a lie can leave its lips? Never in the history of "neverdom," has a generation been more jaded, unteachable and unreachable than this current generation. And it is of Biblical proportions! When wisdom comes to us we have a decision to make; we either lean into it, or we rebel against it. Because "She" (wisdom) is a lady! And as with any true lady she demands respect. She has led and guided us through the annals of time- and has never abandoned us. She comes in softly and at times unexpectedly. Her garments can be abrasive, off-putting, and even startling at times, but when she speaks it is a wise man who listens.
"If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life"...James 3:13
For years now, we have endured the sagging pants, and exposed buttocks! This generation has even found a way to celebrate lewdness, raunchiness and exposed female body parts under the guise of female empowerment and for the most part, they have gone unchecked! We have endured the foolishness of your weave-pulling brawls in the parking lots of the local gas stations, we stood in awe, shock, and silence as you walked on the back of your house-shoes through Walmart, flaunting your dirty pajama bottoms past us; displaying both last night's Spaghetti Sauce and this morning's egg stains upon them! Yes, young "queens" we see you. We see you dancing in public places to the audaciousness of W.A.P. and we see your children mimicking those same choreographed moves in your absence on social media. We have seen it all. And our message in response to your passive aggressive behavior is a "tap" on your shoulder with a message of love and direction. Regardless of your egocentric focus, you are not the be all, to end all! Before you there were others, and after you there shall be another... And you need direction and instructions!
When God sent messengers with instructions to his children, most of the time that messenger was rejected, mocked and persecuted by the very people whom he came to guide. Nations that refused to accept him faced the wrath of God and were destroyed, whilst those who believed in God’s Messenger attained the means to everlasting success and salvation. In the case of Monique Angela Hicks, the natural message being brought to you by wisdom is a pure one. It is a message of dignity, self-respect, and esteem; something that African Americans across the country have had to fight for! The reframing of the White narrative, with its implicit biases against us has been a lifetime, uphill battle, as generations before us have scrambled for a dignified seat at the table! The same table which needs to see African Americans as viable players in this game of life! And for those who have made it their lives work to change stereotypes, and replace them with visions of a people to now be viewed as Corporate literate, business savvy, and a viable, intricate part of the machine which we call America- well, those oil-stained, head bonnets, and crusty pajama bottoms in public spaces does not speak to that fight! As a matter of fact, this new attitude of public slovenliness, and self-deprecating behavior is a slap in the face to that struggle. And it weakens our age- long quest to be seen as an educated and dignified people.
And yet, when all has been said and done, you young "queens" want us to look the other way as you parade around town in your private and intimate houseware. You have got to be kidding! You spent all summer long of 2020 telling the world that you felt marginalized and like a second class citizens by White society, Government, and even your own community, but nothing in you turned inward. Where is the self growth? The proponents of "I'm grown, I'll do what I want to do, mind your own business" circa 2021, are alive and well and living on social media, and like the poor, they will always be among us! Their thought processes are that they can do no wrong, but if they do, all society of men and women who have gone before them should just look the other way! They are foreigners to the rules of etiquette and social graces, and they don't want to be governed or inconvenienced by self discipline. But the tide has shifted, and the adults among us have found their voices. We will no longer be gagged in the parlor of a dilapidated and overrun house of your erection and neglect, when it is we who hold the blueprints, the deeds, and have mortgaged our lives for it's upkeep!
"With age comes wisdom, and when we know better we do better. And so, let the tapping begin"... ~forever, Amber